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Baby Daddy | empresslya's Blog


I have been on Netflix and watching teen mom. As I was watching this I just wanted to talk to my daughter's father. I do not want to be with him, I just want to talk. I want to have an honest dialogue with him about the decisions that he has made. I just want to know why he decided to not be a father to her. I want to know why he wants to be a stat, it makes me feel awful for me to have my daughter be fatherless. I guess I want more than I a dialogue. I want him to feel like shit for living up to the expectations set forth by people that do not value people like us. I want him to cry for taking away love from such a wonderful little girl. A part of me really dislikes him and has no respect for him as a man. To hear the comments that my daughter makes when she sees people with fathers that care. She does not know that there are men that are not with the mothers but love their children. I know that she wishes she has a dad. She has said some things that break my heart. I know that I chose him, but I was so inexperienced and young, I had no idea how my decisions would effect her. I was selfish and thought with my heart instead of my head. I know that this will never happen, maybe its for the best. I honestly do not know I still have a lot of life to live and I do not have a crystal ball so I have no idea what will happen in the future. I honestly thought that by now he would have matured and that his wife would realize that I no longer want him and that would cause him to ask me to be a father to her. He still plays these little games by texting sporadically asking about her but he does not really care because he does not ask any specific questions like school and health and happiness or anything. I can only be happy that I have only one child and I did not repeat the same mistake of having a child by someone who is not worthy of the title father. Its silly I know but it feels nice to write my feelings down.

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